The Fuzzier Side

digatisdi:

This one time I was at this restaurant in this general area of Montéal:

And my friend had asked me to test out this audio French phrasebook for the iPhone and I was like, “Sure, okay”

So I’m eating my lunch and— you know I’m rather proficient in French— so that’s what I used for the vast majority of my stay, but I digress… I flip through the phrasebook when I hear my waiter walking up. That’s when I look at my phone and see it has “I need some condoms” prominently displayed on the screen.

So I went to hit the menu button quickly

But my finger slipped in the haste

And hit the “Say it” button.

And this chipper voice rang out a resounding sentence: « J’ai besoin de préservatifs »

And the waiter kind of gave me this look like this:

Except less flirty and more « VrMan? MDR. » 

And so then after I paid for my meal, I got the receipt back and on the tray under the receipt was a wrapped condom, neatly placed just for me.

I didn’t know wether to feel mortified or to laugh but I did both.